Spirituality Simplified

Does anyone else get really confused by spirituality? Like what is it actually? It can become so broad and as my boyfriend often says, when I’m going off into some deep, thought provoking rant, ‘it’s just way too meta babe.’

Not to dismiss those esoteric conversations that I just love but at the base line and easiest access point, spirituality is as simple as knowing that we are not what we ‘think’, quite literally.

The day I first realized this was the beginning of my ‘spiritual path’ as they call it.

In the lead up to this experience I was far from a healthy headspace. I was deeply self loathing, manic about staying thin, counting foot steps and bites of food.
I had regular anxiety that would escalate to attacks. At times it would feel like I was being suffocated by the world and I couldn’t escape. I would make myself purge for release. I felt lost and little did I know then, I was, in my mind, stuck in a self-made jail cell.

Without being aware of ‘the divine flow’ or any of those kinds of things, the universe still had my back, leading me to exactly where I needed to be. It felt as though, just as I was about to loose my breath, I found it again in a Bikram Yoga class.

The teacher was speaking in German so I needed to be more alert, observing the other students and myself in the mirror to follow along. Of course this turned into self judgment of this body part and the other, comparing myself or judging others around me. I was frustrated by the person next to me sweating all over my mat and the heat of the room seemed like the only thing I could think about. I was obsessing over the teacher cracking a window or opening the door.

All of a sudden, as if someone miraculously pressed slow-mo or even pause on the TV of my current reality, I somehow become aware that I was having all these thoughts and feelings of overwhelm & frustration, yet nothing, apart from my thinking had changed or moved. I could see myself on my mat, holding my pose, like I was outside of my body, witnessing all the things I was thinking about. In this moment I experienced such a sense of peace, a gap in all my crazy, excessive, somewhat destructive thinking patterns.

I didn’t really understand it but that first glimpse of daylight, what felt like waking up for the first time ever, kept me going back to yoga and seeking more or whatever that ‘space beyond thought’ was.

I continued to practice and read spiritual scriptures, that clarifies and confirms this spacious, peaceful, connected sense of freedom that become available in this ‘space’.

Eckart Tolle’s ‘Power of Now’ book quite literally blew my mind!
It was like speaking a language for the first time that I truly understood. This book put words to what I had been experiencing.

Im not sure why I had this experience like I did. I often think maybe it was because of the very strong contrast of suffering that was going on in my mind that was creating such a dark reality. It forced me to the other side, beyond it somehow. Who knows? Yet I’ll always vividly remember this first experience of ‘observation,’ presence and I kiss the earth for what I can now see was my first awakening experience into spirituality.

To be honest, it’s something that’s never really changed. Sure it has evolved and is seen from many different angles. There are tons of beautiful supportive practices to aid in coming back to the ‘present moment’ etc.
For me it’s always simply leads back here: to that space beyond thought. Not to get too meta haha, but it is in fact the energy that’s in me, you and all living things, it’s the energy that connects us all, as the hippies say, as ONE.

As you start to know yourself as this energy behind all things, it’s the most beautiful, peaceful experience we can have. We realize personalities and identities are just part of what’s going on, we can experience true compassion, understanding and ultimately love.

There is nothing more satisfying than being in connection to our ‘higher self’ and allowing that to dance with all of nature, as they call it, in ‘the flow.’ Which is what we’re all about here at Hart Beat. May our tribe all beat to the same, universal drum. Knowing, I am not what I think, I AM.

I highly recommend checking out “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, and ‘Mandala of Being’ by Richard Moss. These books are great portals into better understanding ourselves and and the space beyond thought.
I find sitting for a few minutes with eyes closed and witnessing whatever comes to mind and allowing it to pass through is a simple and helpful practice. When sitting this way, aim to catch the moments where you witness the thoughts instead of identifying with the thoughts themselves. It not only gives you awareness in the moment but allows you to stop and witness more throughout the day.

“Today I will offer myself - my attention, my time, my passion, my desire - to an experience of looking within through something other than my intellect. I will offer myself to meditation to see what may come.”

- Jeff Kober